momma countdown

via

I'm counting down the days.

36 days.

In 36 days I will take my little man back to court for hopefully the next to last time.

In 36 days our adoption date should be set, and hopefully taken care of within a month. By July 4th Bubby should officially be mine and I could not be more excited!

I tear up just thinking about how special this last year has been and how grateful I am for the parents that birthed my sweet baby, but I'll save that post for later, maybe when it is all official.

Today I'm stressing about the logistics of it all.
I have to plan long term with this little person. I have to worry about the paperwork, new birth certificate, new social security card, etc. I have to think about him starting pre-school and kindergarten and then graduating high school and eventually college.
I like to think about the person he will become. He already has such an amazing little personality, I can only imagine how it will grow and change with him.

Today I'm stressing about names. What will I name my sweet boy?! For over a year we have simply called him Bubby for the most part. I knew if given the opportunity to adopt I would and I would not want to keep his birth name in its entirety, if at all. I feel like what you name a baby is a huge decision, but how do I find the perfect combination of unique and traditional? Should I be freaking out over the fact that the original name I picked has now sky rocketed on the "Baby Names of 2015" on nameberry.com!? Because I'm totally freaking out over this!

More than all of these things I'm stressing over at the moment (and there are plenty of other things on the list that are more than any one blog post can handle), I am so beyond excited to be this much closer to officially being a Momma and not just a FoMomma! This is not at all what I expected for my life at this point, it's so much better. I am so blessed!

wasting my 20's...

So apparently the the thing to do when in public is to walk up to random strangers and question them about their family situation. I mean, I have no problem talking to strangers BUT I try not to be super nosy upon first meeting.

In the last two weeks I have been asked by complete strangers while shopping, "Are they all yours?" or "Wow, you don't look old enough to have so many kids, especially any this old! You married their dad, right?" or my favorite yet, "Why would you waste your 20s on kids that don't belong to you?". While I was annoyed that people ask such stupid questions in front of my kids I just feel the need to vent for a second and answer these questions for anyone that is so ignorant.

So, for starters, while these kids are not biologically mine, they are mine. They have been entrusted to my care for the time being. Some may be here a day, some a week and some forever. Either way, they are mine until the day they leave my home, and then they will still be mine in a way. Don't ask me stupid questions in front of my kids.

Am I old enough for so many kids and such "old" kids? Technically, no. I am 24. My kids are 13 months, two 10 year olds and a 13 year old. So you do the math. While the one year old is realistic, I don't know a whole lot of 11 year olds that have had babies. (I'm sure it happens, this is a crazy world we live in and crazier things have happened, just not in my circle of people.) And no, I am not married to their dad. I am not married at all, never have been and quite frankly don't care if I ever am. These kids are my responsibility as a single, 24 year old, and I am perfectly capable of handling them. Don't ask me stupid questions in front of my kids.

And now to my favorite, why do I waste my 20's on kids that aren't mine? Well let me start by saying, it's my "20's", I'll "waste" it however the heck I chose to. While morons are judging me for what I am doing let me just sit back and throw this out there. While you are partying it up, smoking, drinking and snorting who knows what, I am finger painting, cooking rainbow spaghetti, reading bedtime stories and taking trips to the park. Sure, you'll have some crazy stories to tell, that is if you remember any of them, but my grandkids will be able to hear my stories and not be ashamed of what I "wasted" my 20's on. I say all of that to say this, you waste your 20's how you want to and I'll waste mine how I want to. K, pumpkin! ;) And again, don't ask stupid questions in front of my kids.

I don't foster for recognition. That is not at all what it is about. I foster because I feel led to do so. I have always dreamed of ways to make a difference in the world and while most of dreams have fallen flat I feel like this is my way of making a difference. Not in the world but in my kids. When after months of adjusting and learning ways of coping with the situation a teenager walks up to you and says, "Thank you for making foster care not seem so bad. I love you. Thank you for loving me.", well I think I've picked a pretty decent way to waste my 20's. 

Proud FoMomma!